11:32: These guys think they are competing for title of "Mr. Awesome" - but actually, they are trying to avoid pwnage (PUR OWNAGE) by their girlfriends who sent them to the "tool academy" bc they are gaytards.
ex: "my boyfriend's name is terrence...but, he goes by, Celebrity." pause.
so they think they are being celebrated for their bro-ness, but actually "we're all laughing at them" bc theyre bros.
this guy "Matsuflex," i'm actually 100% sure I met him at the pool at the Luxor in Vegas in June. I am going to find pictures to prove this. he was ordering RBVs. i was drinking free tequila shots out of plastic shot glasses (aka robotussin cups)
11:40: the bros are about to get pwned.
"are u guys ready 2 go inside and parti with the ladies"?
11:41 "where's the girls at?"
11:42: "there's been a slight change of plans." long pause. "there is no party" four censored expletives.
11:43 ok so, now it's a commerical break. i've never done this "liveblogging thing" before but just to pick up on what i was saying earlier: these guys think they are being affirmed in their broness, brodom, brodaciousness, all these other adjectives which have already been completely co-opted by exactly the demographic which i thought i was making fun of when i used them like 6 months ago. the point, supposedly, is that in fact they are...fuck commercial is over.
11:46: bullshit pro-feminist rhetoric. ("you've all been pretty crappy boyfriends.") "gentlemen: you are not, Mr. Awesome." medium pause. "you are all complete tools."
11:47: just realized that "liveblogging" is actually using twitter. i dont know how to tweet though - maybe i need to go to the "tool academy"?
11:48: unintentional lulz: "do you think i'm excited to be in like, a prison academy - bro?!!"
11:51: now they have a group therapy session. therapist is british. prestigious? one guy admits, "i guess there's some stuff i need to work on."
11:54: ok so back to what i was saying. the critique of humanism has been co-opted by humanism to reaffirm it's own openness to critique and thus completely eviscerated. thus it comes to seem "inauthentic" to, e.g., critique advertising for determining our interests and personalities because this has been recuperated for a bourgeois notion of aesthetic purity. at the moment when the bro starts saying "bro" ironically, "bro" is no longer ironic. next commercial: was "bro" ever ironic?
12:00: this one girl took off her engagement ring because she thinks that it represents something "fake" now. i'm starting to think this might be scripted.
12:01 matsuflex: "black, asian white, i bang all sorts of chicks." is that a reference to that Calvin Harris song?
12:03 b0red, checking out matsuflex's myspace.
12:11: "she was trying to emasculate me, and im not gonna allow that, im gonna break some stuff, im gonna pick up this heavy chair and im gonna throw it. and you're gonna like it."
12:12: found a ph0to of matsuflex from my facebook:
12:14: matsuflex breaks out his "matsu-panties" (black HUGO BOSS underwear). is this progressive? i saw a tranny last night when i was running, she was carrying groceries. a small shiver ran down my back, and i finally "got" the tranny thing. how bataille-esque would it be to just, like, change your gender? the little thrill we get from 'acting a little gay' or. commercial is over.
12:19: mastuflex is making out with his girlfriend.
12:20: one of the bros: "i want to prove to america that i'm not a tool and that i can BE, Mr. Awesome." very interesting. this is a post-colonial strategy: use the liberatory ideology promulgated by the oppressor as a cover for domination to in fact resist processes of
interpellated subjectification. instead of allowing himself to interpellated as "tool," he reclaims the (manifestly illusory) rallying cry of Mr. Awesome. did anyone see "The X Files: I Want to Believe"? or Miami Vice?
12:25: is it even worth discussing the fact that this is scripted? how could i rise above the level of irony already implicit in this show?
12:26: final scene, where one gets eliminated: they are all wearing thom browne.
12:28: more evidence of colonialism, specifically "identifying with your oppressor": when dmitiri, after getting eliminated, says, "i know i'm not a tool," one of the other guys scoffs, suggesting that he has appropriated the discursive framework of the Tool Academy. does this have potential as a strategy for revealing the inherent "lack" on which discourse is based (Santner)? i.e., is it possible that this guy, by asserting that dmitri's being kicked off the show represents some sort of ontological failure (that he "really is" a tool, and that that really means something - even though just one day ago they had never heard of "The Tool Academy" and it
's linguistic rules), is revealing the inherent constructedness of the tool/non-tool (even, perhaps, bro/non-bro) dichotomy? could we go a step further and say that he is in fact revealing the arbitary nature of linguistic meaning itself (Derrida)?
stay tuned for Tool Academy 2:
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