Being Emphatic, Post-9/11

Postmodern Bonnie and Clyde:

To: {souleater}

From: runawaydevil

Subject: Re: Hello there!

 

well you see... [color=red][size=5]i fucking love you! [/size] [/color]

 

 

Msg id: 1302244771

To: {souleater} (1340807)

From: runawaydevil (1209054)

Date: Wed Mar 8, 2006 9:00 am

Subject: Re: Lyrics!

 

Aha yey! you make me feel so loved :hearts: and yes i do love you,

Your wonderful *kiss*

 

 

 

Msg id: 1302290948

To: runawaydevil (1209054)

From: {souleater} (1340807)

Date: Wed Mar 8, 2006 10:59 am

Subject: Re (2): Hello there!

 

Well thanx fer caring so fucking much you, you, you sexy beast you!

tehee ttyl

18r beautiful!

 

 

 

Msg id: 1302296648

To: runawaydevil (1209054)

From: {souleater} (1340807)

Date: Wed Mar 8, 2006 11:12 am

Subject: Re (2): Lyrics!

 

Yeah I'm so glad that you feel that way about my cuz I love you too! so

You didn't call last night what's up? well I hope that you have a good day

today & hopefully I'll ttyl tonight or something! well *hugz&kissez!* XOXOXO

Take Care!

 

*kiss*

 

 

Msg id: 1330764621

To: runawaydevil (1209054)

From: {souleater} (1340807)

Date: Mon Mar 20, 2006 1:00 pm

Subject: Hey Beautiful!

 

 

Hey howz it goin'? I'm ok I guess... but I'm still sorry that you got into trouble! :( & when I tried to call ashley I was thinking of you & I think that when I went to dail her number to apologize I accidently dailed your number I'm so so sorry! :( That totally sux that your grounded for a month! God your parents are totally unfair! :cussing: My mother was nothing like your parents... know why cuz she'z been living on her own since she was 15 and she used to hang out with 25 year olds and stuff so she knows what it's like to be us... :) too bad your parents don't.... they should get with the program and realize that times are ever changing and they can't stop it!... like what if man kinds life style changes are they going to refuse to change too! cuz they won't make it very far then! well I hope to talk to you some time soon, I miss you! *singing* "I want you, I need you, I have you, I won't let anybody have you", tehee Slipknot rulez! :D well hope to see you soon or sumthin'! Take Care! Love You! :love:

 

Msg id: 1331568479

To: {souleater} (1340807)

From: runawaydevil (1209054)

Date: Mon Mar 20, 2006 7:10 pm

Subject: Re: Hey Beautiful!

 

rawr i hate them

so i have this plan

it begins with me killing them

and ends with me living with you

so we are set

im going to try and call you but i really dont know if i'll be able to

to

they are treating me like shit

i hate them sooo much

but i love you and hope this wont bring us far apart

i hope to talk to you soon

love you with all my heart

:love:

 

Msg id: 1334483680

To: runawaydevil (1209054)

From: (souleater} (1340807)

Date: Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:51 pm

Subject: Re (2): Hey Beautiful! 

Well I love your plan but we need to get a little more creative with

Like details & stuff! I wish they wouldn't treat you that way! grrrr! it angers me to hear that I dislike them very much! Don’t worry I love you too… my sexy beast! I hope to hear from you soon too! Take Care my love! You have the key to my heart & soon enough you shall have my heart… if I die anyways cuz if I give it to you now I’ll die then you won’t be able to hear me say how much I love you!

:love: XOXOXO :love

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLAMO!!!!

How can affect manifest itself in LOLspeak? Or, to ask a slightly more modest question: how can one convey emotion in an online conversation? Precisely those "expressions" that have been created to, supposedly, replicate nonverbal signals - smileys, LOL, :hearts:, etc - seem to deaden online text. "LOL," used unironically, kills a joke in a way that "real" laughter never could.  We could blame "online chatting," blogging, short-form and poorly edited online content as formats; we could suggest that these are simply structurally impoverished media, unable to convey a full range of human emotions.  Yet, as I think comes across very strongly in the above, there is something intensely "pathetic" (i.e., pathos-evoking) about LOLspeak. If one puts enough exclamation points after LOL, it becomes a bit uncanny; that is, this excessive emphasis highlights the impossibility of the task at hand (to convey a spontaneous gesture using a repeatable symbol) by harping on the need to add emphasis to something that by definition must be self-sufficient (an out-loud laugh). Yet here is another source of uncanniess: a laugh is supposed to represent plenitude; inasmuch as LOL fails to achieve this plenitude (or ":hearts: xoxoxoxxoxoxo" fails to be a gesture of genuine love), it "represents" the implicit failure of these "real" gestures on a level that is paradoxically more "immediate." There is something repulsive about "LOL" (even more so with LMAO, or <8,>

Does this mean that LOLspeak is the only possible critical language in which to assess the manifest failure of new media to serve as a fulsome form of expression? Good question. I'm trying to write an article about this for n+1, the most important literary journal of our time (this is Gawker's best meme [pronounced "mi-mi", BTW] so far).